Father uses SEAL tactics to raise children

Brandon Webb’s childhood was far from conventional. His parents, self-described hippies, gave him freedom to roam, homeschooling him and moving frequently. By age 10 or 11, he was handling dusty Mexican streets. At 16, during a family sailing trip in Tahiti, his father kicked him off a boat—a moment he calls “another story.” The lack of structure, he says, built confidence. “It wasn’t traditional, but it worked for me,” Webb explains. His path to the Navy began at 18, a decision influenced by a financial incentive after marrying Gretchen in 2001. By November of that year, he was in Afghanistan, deployed with the SEALs.

Webb’s military career spanned 13 years, 6 months, and 6 days. During that time, he and Gretchen had four children. But the demands of service strained their marriage. “The guys in the Navy for decades—they didn’t have family relationships,” he says. “Their family was the SEAL team. I didn’t want that.” After leaving the Navy, he focused on real estate and defense contracts, but financial stability didn’t fix his relationship with Gretchen. They divorced, though they remain on good terms. Today, Gretchen and the kids live at her parents’ ranch, and Webb still stays in the guest house.

Webb’s shift from military to parenting began during a Little League game. As a sniper trainer, he used mental management techniques—visualization, mantras, and positive self-talk—to improve performance. He realized the same tools could help kids. “I helped my oldest visualize a school presentation,” he says. “He wasn’t as nervous. That became a parenting tool.” He taught his children to recognize negative self-talk, like “I’m bad with numbers,” and reframe criticism. “If I told a SEAL not to flinch, that’s all they’d think about,” he explains. “Instead, focus on the smooth trigger pull.”

Webb’s approach to independence mirrors his own upbringing. His oldest son and daughter received New York City MetroCards at 16—one for an internship, the other for a job. Both looked “like deer in headlights,” he recalls. But the experience built confidence. “They knew I trusted them,” he says. “That’s how you step into adult roles.” He avoids over-advocating for his kids. When his youngest was kicked off a basketball team for “bad attitude,” Webb didn’t call the coach. “No one wants to work with a jerk,” he told his son. “That lesson will matter more than a missed season.”

Today, Webb sees a trend among parents who “do everything for their kids.” He calls it a mistake, even for successful people. His philosophy? Let kids fail, but guide them to learn. “The Navy taught me resilience,” he says. “Now I use that to help my kids build their own.” The techniques, he adds, aren’t about discipline or control. They’re about trust—trust in the child’s ability to handle challenges, and trust in the parent’s role as a steady, quiet guide. “It’s not about fixing them,” he says. “It’s about letting them fix themselves.”